Skin Deep

Yesterday, Chris and I decided to forego the movie theater and went to Voorhees Town Center instead. Instead of going to Elena Wu as we originally planned, we went to Catelli Duo, the newest wine bar in the area.  I had a plain sleeveless black dress on, had no make up or accessories, and had my hair up in a bun. The only splash of color I had was my pink shoulder bag.

The place was pretty flashy and had a bunch of ex-yuppie Gen-Xers in khaki shorts and glamorously accessorized millennials my age and younger. Chris was dressed exactly like the Gen-Xers so he looked fine but I stuck out like a sore thumb. I only paid attention to Chris, the food, drinks and the bartender so I didn’t really focus on the other patrons. Chris is much more observant and told me that:

  1. People looked because I was the only Asian in the place. Not surprising since Voorhees and its surrounding towns are predominantly white.
  2. The girl behind me looked me over from head to toe and turned dismissively. I said I noticed that one but didn’t mind. I explained that pretty girls hate other pretty girls.

Humble moment. 😀

It did make me think. Have I been more relaxed about how I dress and look since my marriage? I think I used to be more OC about my appearance.

Some women at work told me that I no longer need to worry about my looks since I’m already married. I objected and said that married women have to make more effort — we’ll be the last person our husbands will ever sleep with so we shouldn’t let ourselves go. The same applies to men. I see so many men who gain 100 pounds and get massive Dad-bods after marriage and kids. I told Chris that I liked him thin. I also asked him to let me know if he thinks that I need to lose weight. He has not said anything so far and he continues to tell me how beautiful I am everyday. Personally, I think he’s biased but I do appreciate it.

Love, respect and devotion are essential in a marriage. But are looks just as important?

Unattainable Beauty

I’m so out of touch with showbiz things. Maybe because I barely watch TV and don’t watch movies as often as most. It’s usually my Insider-watching father who fills me in on the latest gossip but he sometimes forgets which is why I only found out about Heidi Montag’s horrible plastic surgery marathon yesterday. I watched a couple of episodes of The Hills and I remember her as being pretty and very slim. I even thought that she was prettier than Lauren Conrad and I can’t imagine how a girl like that can have so much insecurity in herself.

But, apparently, she does. Or did. A few months ago, Montag had 10 procedures done in one day. And she’s proud of it! She had her breast implants increased to DDDs, a brow lift, a nose job revision, lipo on her stomach and thighs and a butt augmentation, among other things.

I was made fun of when I was younger, and so I had insecurities, especially after I moved to L.A. People said I had a “Jay Leno chin”; they’d circle it on blogs and say nasty things. It bothered me. And when I watched myself on The Hills, my ears would be sticking out likle Dumbo! I just wanted to feel more confident and look in the mirror and be like, “Whoa! That’s me!” I was an ugly duckling before.

I think she’s more beautiful and less “plastic” in her photo on the left, before the surgeries. How disappointing. This girl is three years younger than me and she already found the need to radically modify herself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against plastic surgery. I’ve had a procedure done myself (guess what!) but that was because we had a car accident and I smashed that part of my body. The point is, it’s not wrong if you want to correct a thing or two that’s been bugging you your whole life, especially when you know that that part truly makes you unattractive.  But for a young, pretty girl who has no visible flaws… geez. I didn’t even recognize her new self. I wonder how her family feels whenever they talk to her and see a different daughter, a different wife.

The media has not been completely innocent with influencing women to attain this unreachable level of perfection. On magazines everywhere, you see extra thin girls with mile-long perfect legs wearing designer coats and shoes and having a gorgeous man as her accessory. It sends the message that thin is beautiful and glamorous. And if you’re this perfect, you can get the clothes, shoes, and the man. Photoshop does magic and, unfortunately, promotes the wrong message when used excessively.

See Newsweek’s gallery on Unattainable Beauty: The Decade’s Most Egregious Retouching Scandals.

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