I’m so pissed off with myself. I really need to lose 4 tons super quick.
WHY IS IT A NEVER-ENDING TORTUROUS JOURNEY FOR US?!
Stupid solutions that might actually work:
- Do what Emily Blunt’s character in The Devil Wears Prada did: Not eat. And when she feels like she’s going to pass out, eat a little piece of cheese. I just happen to have cheese here at work. Hmm.
- Wait until I feel like I’m going to be swallowed by an ocean of hunger. Eat maybe two to three forkfuls of something (no restrictions on what you want) — just enough to keep myself from feeling weak. Rinse and repeat. This actually worked before, lost 10 pounds in four weeks.
- Drink coffee pretty much all day. This will kill my appetite and I will only eat once a day.
Good solutions that will work and reasons why it won’t happen. I’m not saying that they’re the right reasons. I’m just being realistic here.
- Renew my gym membership and pay $21 a month for something I won’t use. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is change into my yoga pants and jump on the elliptical. Now, I just change into my yoga pants and instantly couch surf. Which is sad because when I was faithfully going, I got addicted to working out. But that was when the gym was in the same building as my apartment and I only needed to go down to the basement.
- Wake up at 6 am in the morning and run for at least 30-40 minutes. I like sleep too much. And the best sleep is between the first alarm and the next (in between hitting the snooze button).
- Do yoga and pilates in the living room. The dogs like sleeping on the yoga mat the moment I lay it on the floor. Pushing them away every five seconds is not worth it.
- Do J.J. Smith’s smoothie cleanse for 10 days and try to stick with it this time. I’m supposed to lose 15 pounds to start with and I’m supposed to manage it and lose more. (I need to find that book!) It’s the incredible discipline required that makes it so hard.
- Buy the Insanity or T25 videos by Beach Body. I’ll spend about $150 and have the discs sit on top of the DVD player when I use the PS4.
I think weight loss is 85% food and 15% exercise. Which means that I have to change my eating habits. This means that I have to break up with a few things.
Goodbye, Ferrero Rocher.
Goodbye, eating white rice everyday. (It’s just once a week from now on.)
Goodbye, Tostitos with a hint of lime + Spike salsa.
Goodbye, anything sweet and baked.
Goodbye, second helpings.
*gets over it*