Death to Smoochy Blackberry

I liked to think of myself as an avid crackberry. I love my BB. I’ve promoted it to friends and family, bragged about its assets, and took it with me wherever I went. I love the convenience of a real qwerty keypad and its utter indestructibility. And the battery life is insane! I’m lazy when it comes to charging and never bring a charger with me so having a phone that needs charging every 3-4 days even with normal usage is really, really good.

But love cannot always be blind. Although my husband technically owns the LG Connect 4G that I got him for Christmas, he only uses it for unimportant shit like calls and stuff. I use it for what it’s made for: the INTERNETZ! </turns jejemon mode off> The Android platform is amazing. I can access all sorts of apps through Google Play and I play with anonymous people all over the world. Draw Something and Words With Friends are both entertaining but I love Shortyz. It downloads crossword puzzles from different news sites everyday and it’s free, which is a huge plus.

I feel guilty, like I’m having an affair with another phone. At this moment, I’m in the middle of a game against my 25-year old nephew (by marriage since I’m not THAT old) and I can feel my BlackBerry staring at me accusingly. So this is what it feels like to be a middle-aged man who has an affair with a 22-year old because he has outgrown his fiftyish, outdated wife. There is only one solution to end this vile betrayal.

RIM, please get your head out of year 2000 and save the BlackBerry! Hire a new designer, hell, hire a TEAM of designers and engineers! It’s not too late yet! If old geezers can recover in the ICU after a triple bypass then the BB has a fighting chance.

As for me, I’m going to wait another year. Maybe two. Like a real marriage, it may be cheaper to keep her; but if RIM doesn’t deliver then I have to regretfully divorce my BB and find a stylish Android.

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