A Breather

I’m dealing with a lot of bullshit right now. It’s not my marriage, it’s a lot of external factors that manage to piss me off beyond belief. I will not specify what those things are as I still believe in keeping some things to myself even if I have been a blogger for almost a decade. I am trying my best to adjust make things happen be nice just survive but it’s not easy and the world cannot change overnight. (Patience, Steffi.) Plus having a bunch of assholes making things difficult for me and C doesn’t help.

But in spite of all that, there are still unforgettable lovely moments:

  • My husband is wonderful. He’s almost house-trained. 😉
  • The support and love from all of my friends from all over the world. I get teary-eyed when, after a horrible day, I read a simple email from a friend thousands of miles away. Plus Danielle lives only 25 minutes from here and is a powerful one-woman support  system. I know I’m a very lucky girl and I only wish that I could do more for them.
  • I saw and felt snow for the first time. When it started falling, Chris dragged me outside. At 3 am, we took a walk. The meager light was magnified by a billion snowflakes. The streets were completely silent, the whiteness serene. Only our footprints marked the snow. I wrote our names on the street with my shoe.
  • Kahlua coffee is just perfect for the essential 7 am dose of caffeine. And our Keurig is just divine.
  • Wawa has the best store-bought brewed coffee in the world. And all sizes (from 12 to 24 oz) cost $1 each. Beat that Starbucks!
  • I rediscovered Cold Case, which is both cliched and wonderful at the same time. The investigative methods are dated and unconvincing but I get to see decades-old fashion mixed in with modern stuff. The perfect combination: 30’s hairstyle, 50’s dress, 70’s-80’s music, platform heels, and post-modern make-up.
  • My cooking has improved dramatically. For some reason, almost everything I cook ends up great — even the ones I make for the first time. Even Chris’ wild experiments have great results. This stumped him because he used to produce one gustatory disaster after another. He calls me his good luck charm.
  • I impulsively ordered a ton of make-up. I decided that at 28, I could no longer use the too-young-to-mess-with-my-face excuse all the time. The first few tries were laughable: even a clown would be embarrassed to be seen with me. I’m getting better at it but I still have a long way to go.
  • The chihuahuas. The first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning is: THE DOGS. Sierra is a 3.5 pound jet black monster. She’s the smallest, meanest, most vicious dog you will ever meet in your life. She turns on the cute when she has to and looks so deceptively innocent and tiny it makes your heart break… and then you remember how she terrorized the others. Our lovable Taco Bell chi, Spike, doubled his weight and got lazier than ever. We have to take him for frequent walks — half a kilometer is like climbing Mt. Everest for a chihuahua — and he’s permanently upset with me for putting him on a strict diet. Basti is, well, Basti. The long-haired puppy is still developing his own personality but the HAIR grows in so fast that our little one has quite a nice lion’s mane and a big fluffy tail.

The one thing I like about myself is that I can compartmentalize stress. I will not allow the actions of undeserving individuals to occupy my time and my mind. Panicking and worrying will not solve anything. Sure, we’re only human and are allowed to do the previously mentioned activities… for around 5 minutes.

Then take a deep breath, eat a corndog or two, calm your blood pressure down, and then ask yourself: What do I have to do? How do I deal with this for now given the limitations of my present circumstances? What will I eat for dinner later? 

*inhale*

*exhale*

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2 thoughts on “A Breather

  1. Wow I was just viewing your Pet Society Cat page and then I came here and then I saw all the swear words…you sure have changed a lot!

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