If I were Christine Daaé…

I would make a list. Two lists.

THE PHANTOM

Pros:

  • Musical genius
  • Wonderful voice coach
  • Romantic
  • Has a penchant for dramatic entrances and exits
  • Looks good in a suit
  • Looks good with a mask

Cons:

  • Lives under a theatre
  • Can be a tad obsessive
  • Can be a tad violent
  • Can be too dramatic
  • Never takes the mask off even in bed
  • Has a weird mannequin bride  in his lair
  • Never uses his perfectly normal first name (Erik)
  • Is probably bad with kids

VISCOUNT RAOUL DE CHAGNY

Pros:

  • Has a title
  • Is incredibly sweet and loyal
  • Probably has lots of money and a château somewhere
  • Very cute
  • Is patient and brave
  • Good with a sword
  • Has good business sense
  • Probably wants kids

Cons:

  • Can be a bit overbearing
  • Can’t write operas
  • Has a horrible hairstyle
  • Not mysterious or dashing enough
  • Probably wants LOTS of kids

Hmm… who will I choose indeed? Like Christine, I’d probably go for Raoul. Romance is nice, so is musical genius, but it can only go so far. I’d get tired of living in a lair under a theatre. There are no proper furnishings, I can’t paint the walls and I bet the plumbing is just dreadful! I can probably get extra entertainment from scaring the audience every Friday, and Phantom can sing to me to alleviate some of the loneliness, but my girlfriends would never want to visit because they’re too scared of my husband.

Maybe Raoul isn’t too bad. Especially if he looks and acts like Patrick Wilson and not like the overbearing, vertically-challenged pipsqueak I saw on stage last year. I initially hated Raoul and thought of him as an annoying third party who should be swallowed by the ground so Phantom and Christine can be together. But Wilson’s performance made me change my mind. Loving, patient and kind (and cute!) were words I never associated with Raoul before.

Seriously speaking, although I always root for the Phantom every time, I understand why Christine made her choice. It’s easy to get carried away by the attractions of both  danger and romance, but she also knows that she needs to live a life. And Raoul can give her a life.

There is a third choice she didn’t consider: to not choose any one of the two. She’s a famous opera singer! She will probably get more popular and earn loads of money. She doesn’t need a man to support her or protect her. And, since she’s just 16, she can choose who she wants to be with when she’s a bit older and wiser. Maybe call Raoul up and see if he’s still single.

Tsk… Christine just doesn’t have a feminist bone in her body.

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