C and I could be described as a typical happy couple but, like all things, not everything is perfect. And not all our conversations are funny, sweet, optimistic, or analytical (we both like to deconstruct everything). There are some conversation which I dislike, some that I feel sorry about, and the most memorable one was about something I feared.
We were talking about death; not that strange for a couple who are not exactly 100% healthy. I casually asked him how the hell would I cope if he leaves me too early. While he didn’t think that it would happen, he told me in the most matter-of-fact way possible that if it does happen, then he would watch me every single day until it was time for me to say goodbye to this world. He said that it’s okay for me to fall in love and marry again because people have every right to be happy in life. But he hoped I would choose to spend eternity with him in the afterlife.
Two years ago, the cynic in me would have laughed at this statement and say one of the following:
- That there is no after life, once we’re dead then we’re dead.
- That it reminds me of the Titanic scene where Rose reunites with Jack’s spirit and how it always made me giggle (and not because I was touched).
- That eternity is soooo long. Do we have the divorce option in the afterlife?
I said none of the above and instead, excused myself. I said I had to go to the loo. I ran to the kitchen and cried there. I would normally start over-analyzing things and tell you exactly what I fear and why in 500-800 words. But I think that’s pretty obvious.
I feel like such a sucker. Because I cried. 🙂 But at least I’m a happy sucker.