I seem unable to finish a movie. I started watching Alice in Wonderland (2010, Tim Burton) and fell asleep 43 minutes into the movie. Two days ago, I tried to watch WALL•E (2008, Disney) with the baby sis and my mind started wandering after 10 minutes. ARGH! What is wrong with me?! This is WALL•E, the best love story of all time, and not some commercialized bullsh1t excuse for a movie. And then it hit me… this all started with Clash of the Titans! I sat through all 118 minutes of it and was so traumatized that the film-appreciating part of my brain shut down.
I can deal with the discrepancies with Greek mythology since filmmakers claim the right to revise things in the name of art. Okay, I get that. But did they have to cast Sam Worthington as the lovely Perseus? In mythology, Perseus was a young man who, in spite of his bravery and determination, was not without insecurities. He was the victim of his own pride in the end but this immaturity and lack of wisdom is not seen in the movie. In fact, the film producers seem determined to persuade viewers that Perseus is a mildly attractive wooden log. The muscular extras in 300 had more substance.
When I gave a semi-glowing review of Avatar three months ago, I realize now that it was mostly due to Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez and the dazzling special effects. Clash of the Titans had impressive effects as well, but it wasn’t enough to disguise the fact that Sam Worthington CAN NOT ACT. Gemma Arterton’s presence didn’t help. As Io, sure, she had the looks and the calming voice. But she and Worthington were having a contest on who could finish the movie with the least facial expressions. If you want to create an epic action movie, please hire real actors. Inexperience is not an excuse! Rudy Youngblood was a newbie actor in Apocalypto and he carried the film well.
I won’t end this post without something positive to say. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes were both brilliant as Zeus and Hades, respectively. Neeson was in his element, terrible yet benign, all silvery and powerful in Mt. Olympus. And Fiennes left his hotness at home for while to portray an eerie, shuffling Lord of the Underworld. He looks like someone you wouldn’t let in your front door, and yet he managed to convince the gods that he was their salvation. Now that’s acting!
If you want to risk getting Worthington-induced brain damage, feel free to watch Clash of the Titans. Edith Hamilton must be turning in her grave.
Just an afterthought… Gemma Arterton is also in the upcoming Prince of Persia. Should I watch it? Of course! Jake Gyllenhaal is in it and hell, that one can act! I’ll just do my best to ignore Arterton and everything will be fine.