The Dead End

This morning, I woke up to Avril Lavigne singing Girlfriend at 6:30 am (I love my alarm tune) and thought: Great, my “nap” lasted for 11 hours. Lately, I’ve been sleeping very long hours and it’s cutting into my free time. It’s been work-sleep-work-sleep for me the past week. I don’t like it. Sleeping too much makes me even sleepier and sluggish. Like now. *YAWNS* Coffee isn’t as effective as it used to be.

I’m in one of my Dead End phases again. I’m not unhappy, but I’m not that happy either. I have people in my life who make make me smile like my quirky fam, my wonderful friends, and of course Chris, and without them I’d turn into a real-life Dilbert with longer hair. But I know me. I used to be sunnier, more cheerful, more optimistic. Current-me is merely a shadow of that old version and I know exactly when I started to degenerate: October 6, 2006. The former best/worst day of my life. 😉

I have the usual set of problems, the everyday stuff that would never go away until you die, but I can deal with those. I have lovely people around me who love me and I love them back (see above). So I know that whatever’s bugging me is something internal.

I don’t need to do a Tyler Durden and blow up a city just to make the boredom go away. I sent a brief summary of my mood to J yesterday and he sent me an epic reply–which I read twice (😀 J)–so I guess I’m not the only one feeling the same way. It’s not like I refuse to do something about it and just wait for something to happen. I tried a holiday, I tried a new hobby, I even transferred jobs, and it isn’t going away! Should I:

  1. Move into a cottage in Arles and paint sunflowers? (No, I’m not cutting off any part of my ear.)
  2. But 5 black suits from Massimo Dutti and forget about a personal life and decide to “live to work” so I wouldn’t even have to worry about it?
  3. Get goldfishes and refill the empty aquarium?
  4. Totally quit working here and move out of the country before it’s too late?
  5. Clean my room?



On lighter news, I’ve always wanted to try the Tim Tam Slam but there aren’t any Tim Tams available here.

The Tim Tam Slam is the practice of drinking a beverage by sucking it through a Tim Tam, an Australian chocolate-covered biscuit, with both of the ends bitten off.

So I used Twix instead and it worked! And it’s so addictive I’m now incapable of eating Twix unless it’s a sticky, coffee-sodden mess.

And because blog post is never complete without news about Sofia, my baby sister just announced that she is leaving home to live with my Grandparents… because they buy her lollipops and Mom wouldn’t.


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