Office Gravitas

AM: Bureaucracy Classics Part I

I needed the original copies of two memos.

So I go to the woman who’s supposed to have it because the damned things were addressed to her boss. She looked at me like I was some annoying insect who disturbed her while she was touching up her make-up (inch thick foundation *yuck*) which I did happen to do and told me to go to someone else because she didn’t know where they were.

Person number two stood from her desk, glared at me and my photocopies and told me that she had no idea why person number one sent me to her but she was even more clueless about it, if that was actually possible. So she sent me to the inquiry window, with person number three.

Person number three helplessly shrugged and said that he never received it.

Lost and frustrated, I walked slowly back to person number one who has finished touching up. She went crazy, grabbed my copies, and demanded to know why people kept bothering her about things she had no business to know about.

Random guy walks by, takes the papers from her and offered to help me. He checked a couple of computers, asked me to wait, went to the big basement filing room, and stayed there for 20 minutes while I did an impatient tap dance above.

Eventually, he emerged with one of the originals I needed and told me he helped me because he thought I was beautiful.

I thanked him properly.

Then I walked back to our department and advised all the girls to wear make-up, a pretty shirt, and a nice perfume before expecting anyone from that place to do their jobs.

All for two pieces of paper.

PM: Bureaucracy Classics Part II

Because I had two hours to kill before Ina and I met up, I decided to work overtime.

I peeked out of the office where someone saw me and asked to call Anonymous One and give her this uber-important message that for some reason he wasn’t able to do himself. (Maybe his finger broke and he couldn’t dial. Or he erased her number from his phone because his uber-jealous wife went loco.)

So I did it. Not because I was feeling particularly helpful, but because I wanted to be nice.

Anonymous One didn’t just receive the message, she wanted me to relay another one to Mr. Broken Finger. I ended up going back and forth, giving messages like some lackey when I only worked OT so I can do my pending stuff.

I thought it was amusing. Broken Finger got annoyed with Anonymous One, and told me to tell her to call him–which I already did, 4 times. But Anonymous was afraid he wouldn’t be in the mood. He certainly isn’t in the mood now.

I ran to see Ina and made her eat ice cream with me because I needed a high-calorie junk food. With chocolate chip sprinkles.

So that concludes the happy tale of another work day.


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