Genocide by Caffeine

I drink coffee every workday. But aside from my one cup every 8am (don’t even try to call me before coffee), I don’t think I take too much caffeine.

I just didn’t know until now that it would take roughly 27 Starbucks Grande Coffees to kill me. Haha. What else?

  • 200.62 cans of Diet Coke.
  • 164.14 cans of Mountain Dew.
  • 188.08 cups of Häagen-Dazs Coffee Ice Cream.
  • 112.85 cans of Red Bull.
  • 1805.59 cups of Hot Cocoa.
  • 250.78 Dannon All Natural Coffee Flavored Yogurts.

This is an alternative to all quasi-emos out there. Instead of cutting, drowning yourselves, or jumping from a skyscraper, try over-eating or drinking. Drowning will just totally bloat you and your grandmother couldn’t opt for an open-casket. 😀

Just kidding, kids. Don’t try this at home.

Curious about your own statistics? Go here.

Now I better work because Ellie just threatened to fire me. 😀 I have a million things to do but after eating three slices of stuffed crust pizzas, I feed very very VEEERRRYYYY sleepy. The stuff that Dr Sharpe gave me for my -bleep- complaint seems to be the reason for my sudden weight loss. I mean, I may be going to the gym but I also eat more than any 24 year old girl I know. Oh well, I’m not going to complain about that side effect. 😀

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4 thoughts on “Genocide by Caffeine

  1. Dear Anonymous: Mister Sharpe is obsessed with one thing, and it’s not meds. Haha. I also know who you are.

    Dear Josh: I updated it on the shared drive. I suppose it was the right one. =D Typically, the Neurosurgeons changed their minds just after I announced it was done.

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