Your "Acerbic Wit" Astounds Me

Here is the (in)famous People Asia article by Malu Fernandez:

people-asia-p30 people-asia-p31
(click images for larger versions)

Controversial highlights from the article:

However I forgot that the hub was in Dubai and the majority of the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with Filipino workers selling cell phones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them.

While I was on the plane (where the seats were so small I had bruises on my legs), my only consolation was the entertainment on the small flat screen in front of me. But it was busted, so I heaved a sigh, popped my sleeping pills and dozed off to the sounds of gum chewing and endless yelling of “HOY! Kumusta ka na? At taga saan ka? Domestic helper ka rin ba?” Translation: “Hey there? Where are you from? Are you a domestic helper as well?” I though I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell.

On my way back, I had to bravely take the economy flight once more. This time I had already resigned myself to being trapped like a sardine in a sardine can with all these OFWs smelling of AXE and Charlie cologne while my Jo Malone evaporated into thin air.

All in all, it’s been a pretty good summer. Jetting from the Aegean Sea to the Pacific may sound a bit pretentious until you wake up in economy class smelling like air freshener.


From Malu’s response to the complaints:

As I type this, I’d like you to know that it’s not about whining, complaining and bitching but just stating the facts. Just recently, I wrote a funny article in my magazine column and my friends thought it was hilarious. It was humorous and quite tongue-in-cheek, or at least I thought so, until the magazine got a few e-mails from people who didn’t get the meaning of my acerbic wit. The bottom line was just that I had offended the reader’s socioeconomic background. If any of these people actually read anything thicker then a magazine they would find it very funny. Most people don’t get the fact that they need bitches like me to shake up their world, otherwise their lives would be boring and mediocre. I obviously write for the a certain target audience and if what I write offends you, just stop reading.

Although it may sound elitist to you the fact is this country is built on the foundation of haves, have-nots and wannabes. One group will never get the culture of the other. Although I could mention that it is easier to understand someone who has a lower socioeconomic background that would entail a whole other page and frankly I don’t want to be someone to bridge the gap between socioeconomic classes. I leave that to the politicians in my family who believe they can actually help. Now I seriously ask you, am I being a diva or are people around me just lacking in common sense? Perhaps it’s a little of both!

~*~*~

*SIGH*

Malu, Malu, Malu… How old are you again?

Look, no one’s judging you here for being extremely allergic to ka-jologan. A lot of people share your condition, even those from outside your, ahem, socioeconomic class. (*SNORTFLE*) No one is pointing fingers at you for looking down your short Asian nose at your lesser privileged countrymen who wear old Beachwalks and AXE because they can’t afford Havaianas, Adidas all-terrains, or Jo Malones.

We all have the right to spout whatever coño airs we’ve learned in our exclusive schools (*dies laughing*) and even you, dear supposedly responsible magazine contributor, are not exempt from this advantage. After all, you yourself say that you have an amazing grasp of COMMON SENSE, which I assume you’ve learned from endless shopping, make-up artistry, and traipsing from Greece to Boracay.

We may not be born Ayalas or Elizaldes but it is an unspoken public knowledge that the rich endlessly make fun of the poor. As if it was amusing to look at people with less money who will go hungry if they didn’t work like a horse everyday. That’s just putting it bluntly.

I’m so sorry, Malu, that you felt the need to defend yourself by voicing out this already obvious fact. It is real, hypocritical, and very very hurtful. You are not a six-year-old who has to be told about the responsibility of saying things in public. You may think of yourself as funny, witty, smart, and so superior to the OFWs who ride the economy class to and from Dubai, and you might even think that you’re doing the reading public a favor by “shaking up their world” with your peculiar brand of humor.

Still, it would probably be a good idea to keep your FUN, ACERBIC WIT and SMART OPINIONS to yourself.

love,
Equally Opinionated Me

P.S. Um, if you’re really that rich, smart, vain, and oozing with common sense, then I wonder why you still haven’t found Dr. Belo or Dr. Calayan’s numbers?

Ang lakas mo kasi mang-lait, feeling mo ang GANDA mo (*GAGS*), di ka man lang tumingin sa salamin. Kahit sobrang perfect at mahal pa yang make-up, damit at pabango mo, di mo matatago ang totoo. 😀

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4 thoughts on “Your "Acerbic Wit" Astounds Me

  1. Hi,

    She’s 41 and single. I think she just doesn’t respect all Pinoys (as if she’s not one!) that’s why she didn’t seek the help of Dra. Belo and the Calayan couple. She did, however, sought the help of an organization in the US performing gastric bypass surgey. Check this out: http://livingafterwls.blogspot.com/2005/09/malu-fernandez-wls-in-philippines.html

    She must have become a very bitter person when the operation proved to be a failure to her. Imagine spending US$10K (which btw could already provide decent housing for people she denigrates)on an endeavour that did not benefit her at all.

    That’s probably why she’s spouting all this bigotry on people she deemed lower than her in the social strata, to cover for her own insecurities.

    Just my two cents!

  2. Acero: Maybe she was just being honest. Those economy seats must feel really uncomfortable and tiny. >=D

    Thanks for the link. Look at her, she’s asking for sympathy and help because of her condition, but she doesn’t know how to give the same to other people (fellow Pinoys) with different problems who belong to different socioeconomic classes from her own (aka “poor”).

    What a fake.

  3. I’m sure whenever she sees herself in the mirror, she cries out: WHY GOD? WHHYYYY???!! with black tears rolling down her pork cheeks.

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