The Bitch is peeking out

Reading about Dorothy Parker just made me realize how much I’ve been neglecting the little devil on my left shoulder. Awww… *pats it* I’m afraid it might throw a tantrum and leave me forever, and who would want that? Hehe. For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to curb my evil side. So far, it’s been working with okay results. But every girl occasionally needs to have some pure unadulterated ventilation.

1) Text Messaging

Yes, women talk more than men, etc. And we’re known to have marathon phone conversations with each other, too. But a single text message doesn’t take much! You could set aside thirty seconds to type a line or two and send… voila! Such excuses as “I was really busy” and “I didn’t see your message” just don’t cut it. Everyone looks at their phone at least 100x an hour–it’s an extension of one’s personality. And, helloooo, women are extremely busy, too. We’re just considerate enough to take a few seconds to actually think about the important people in our lives and not consider them as disturbances. This doesn’t just apply to husbands and boyfriends but also to male friends and family members.

2) Pressure

Guys just can’t learn to take a lot of it. I’ve seen women–mothers, co-workers, friends–take everything head on like superwomen without batting an eyelid. But most of the opposite sex seem to have difficulty handling more than one at a time. They freak out and panic spectacularly, managing to make a mess of things while trying to find solutions.

3) Promises

Don’t even say a thing if you don’t intend to fulfill it. And, no, promises do NOT have expiration dates. Trust me, we don’t just remember every word. We remember what you said, when you said it, where you said it, and what you were wearing at that time. Women are walking videocamcorders. Be very careful.

4) Compliments

We know what’s sincere and what’s not. Or at least I do. I divide compliments in three: the really good-intentioned ones, the fake ones, and the ones that just make me shudder. Category one are the ones given by friends and people who just say them because they believe it to be true. Category two is pretty much self-explanatory and useless. You’ll just manage to convince me of your airheadedness so don’t even try. I’d rather hear a “you bitch!” said honestly than a praise through gritted teeth. Category three is pretty tricky. I suppose the DOMs are obvious, but there are some that masquerade as category ones. Just learn to discern between a smile and a leer.

Of course, when one’s self-esteem is pretty low, I suppose any compliment would do. But I’m lucky. I have my own mirrors-on-the-wall. Dad, who’s one of them, never really outgrew Snow White. I’ll always have a trusty answer to “who’s the prettiest of them all?” But of course he’s biased. *grin*

5) Hidden Meanings

I keep on reading all these crap about women saying things they don’t actually mean. Or saying the opposite of what they mean. That’s not always true. I know a lot of women who only say what they mean. Like me, for instance. If I say I’m annoyed, then that’s it. It doesn’t mean I’m mad at you, I’m just annoyed (and probably willing to talk about it). I won’t cry and throw a useless tantrum. I’ll just say I don’t agree with you and that’s it. And if it’s “okay” then it’s really okay. And saying I love you does not mean “I want you to marry me”. It’s just the truth, pure and simple.

6) Ogling

It’s just not impolite, it’s irritating. We don’t stare at you like we’re going to swallow you or certain parts of you in public. So. Just. Stop. It.

= =

I’m not really male-bashing. I guess some recent situations just managed to make me sound like I am. My Dad is (of course) a guy, and though he can be difficult sometimes, I really adore him. My angel-of-the-moment, Ry, also happens to be a guy. And my split with my ex-boyfriend was quite an amicable one (translation: we talk, we text, we’re friends).

= =

I’m through the first parts of Wormwood (by GP Taylor). It looks promising. But I’ve read too many fantasy books that start really well yet fail to deliver at the end. So far, Terry Pratchett is still the best among the modern, living authors in this genre; from the moment I discovered The Colour of Magic, I was a goner. I still love Harry Potter (volumes 1-4), if JK Rowling did not give in to commercialization and made Volumes 5 & 6 read like Sweet Valley High. There’s still Book 7 and I hope she redeems herself this time.

I’ve been busy making my layout. I’m almost through with mine and it looks very pretty, very feminine. I still need to make the other free layouts for the content. I’m not showing anything yet, but I’m giving the name: Planet Orchid. And if you think it sounds wussy, I actually got it from the book Empress Orchid–the story of China’s Dragon Lady. A wuss, she is not.

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