Lately, my entries read as if I walk around in a haze of bitchiness. I would say that I’m not really that bad, but I don’t feel like defending myself to anyone. I don’t write articles, I only have random thoughts. Some are coherent and deep, while some are disjointed, crazy, and occasionally funny. This is not one of those. =)
When I was in my late teens, alcohol was always synonymous to barkada bonding sessions (especially when you’re young and single in Manila). But in Riyadh, a group of twenty-somethings have to find other avenues of fun while staying within the limits of the country’s rigid “rules”. =P
Last night, we managed to convince Vinz that man could not live through instant messaging alone. Also, Janis found time to hang out during a weekend (finally!). There could never be a boring moment whenever she and Vinz gets together. Jet was being his usual lovely sarcastic self and Ryan tried to continue his quest of convincing me that having at least one sport was the way to live.
[Steffi: Sports??! *scandalized look* But I am an artiste!]
In a place like this, simple fun (neurotic!) conversations, a few hours spent together in a park or a billiard room with several bowls of ice cream, half a dozen donuts, a laptop computer named Gab (or was it Calypso?), and a digital camera–in other words, wholesome fun–could be more meaningful than the usual noisy Saturday night gimik.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss bar-hopping or immersing myself in alcohol until one moves down the evolutionary chain. This June, I swear on my favorite gym sock that I’m going to make up for all the months of enforced discipline. =D
While browsing for books to buy, Janis and I were laughing over the strange characteristics that all men seem to possess. And when the topic of relationships came up, she said something that startled me: “If there’s such a thing as a perfect relationship, then you and Jet come close to having it.”
It was such a casual remark, and yet it carried so much weight. If Janis had been someone else, someone who didn’t know me as well as she did, then I would’ve just smiled and thanked her. But she said that because she knew the both of us, especially me. She had been a witness to our development from the beginning. Even Ina seems to feel the same way. She once told me that she felt inspired whenever she was with us because we were such a “good couple”.
If everything’s so wonderful, then why am I freaked out? Because anything that seems so perfect must have something that’s seriously wrong underneath. Right before sleeping last night, I mentally listed down the things that made us work well.
- We have never fought. There were no petty fights, no emotional faux break-ups, no crying sessions over sudden spats… They just didn’t happen. The only time we came close to having a cool-off (a prelude to breaking up if you ask me) was when we had different solutions to one major problem and because moody-me was ticked off, I logically suggested a cool-off which he instantly rejected–then the problem just disappeared.
- We both like each other’s friends. This made everything convenient because we could merge bonding sessions often during weekends. Like is actually an understatement because my friends here just *love* him. I have to bring him along to see them regularly or else they’d miss him too much. =) As for me, I really enjoy spending time with his friends–especially Ryan whom I’ve adopted. Hehe.
- He likes my family. My family likes him. I like his family, and I’m pretty sure that his family likes me (Vinz, huwag kang kokontra) so far. So there are no problems in that aspect.
- We’re very, very good friends. Probably even best friends, in a way. We could talk about anything, laugh about anything, and we trust and respect each other’s opinions and ideas. We’re always supportive of each other’s goals and we share problems so they become easier to resolve. In our short time as a couple, we’ve been through a number of major issues that once made me joke that we led teleserye-like lives. In the end, everything always got better.
- After five months, the excitement or kilig-factor is still there. I don’t see any sign of it diminishing any time in the future as no moment is ever boring… even when we end up dozing off on the couch while my brother plays Warcraft six feet away.
- Space. We give each other a lot of space. The only rule we have is the one against cheating and that’s pretty generic. Otherwise, anything is free game as long as it’s not bad for one’s health, it doesn’t involve breaking any laws, and no people are hurt in the process. I don’t understand selfishness in any relationship, he feels the same way, and I suppose that made everything easier.
- We’re exact opposites in all things except for the few vital details that really matter.
I’m sure there are more, but I was too tired to stretch my brain further. At the end of this short list, I haven’t reached a clear conclusion. Perhaps my mind was just fuzzy with sleep or maybe it could just be that there is no complicated answer to the question I’m asking. We could simply be lucky. Blessed. Gifted. Fortunate. Call it anything you want but maybe we just love each other to such a degree that it makes us happy to keep each other happy. It’s one of those weird situations where two twisted individuals manage to keep something good going. But it doesn’t just happen like magic. Of course, when you really mean it, all the time and effort exerted wouldn’t seem to matter much compared to the rewards. Maybe, that’s the perfect answer that I was looking for.
[Oh my, did I just write the “L” word on my blog? Hahaha! Kill me, Trish. I’m no longer apathetic.]
Click, Click, Click!
My job. This is where all my dislike is concentrated. I’m not kidding when I say that I’m only here for the money and I’m definitely leaving when I find another opportunity (and when all my “responsibilities” are done). Most of my duties could be done while sleeping and I sometimes feel as if everything’s an insult to my intelligence. Of course, the experience, not necessarily purely job-related, is invaluable and I got to meet a lot of great people. But the job itself is pffft. Overworked. Over-qualified. But paid well enough to stick to it temporarily.
Oh, and there’s one more very important thing: I get free healthcare. =D I just got loaded with what seems like a lifetime supply of meds and I’m sure glad that I don’t have to pay for them.
Still, I look forward to leaving. To where, I’ll decide in three months. I have a strange timetable.